Fear of the Unknown

Due to Kyle’s pre-maturity he has NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) follow up appointments every six months. Today was his two and half year appointment. I have always dreaded and stressed over these appointments and unfortunately today wasn’t any different. During the appointment Kyle’s over all health, growth, gross motor skills, fine motor skills, and cognitive development are evaluated. These appointments are always in the afternoon, which is when Kyle’s nap time generally is so it's always iffy what his attitude will be. Of course, I want him to “perform” to the best of his ability, but not having his usual nap always throws us a curve ball. It is definitely clear with his skills and abilities that the preschool he attends is helping him a great deal although he is still developmentally delayed. Yes, we are doing everything we can for him, but my biggest fear as a mommy is the unknown. No one is able to predict the future for my son….it is so very scary. I just want my son to grow up and lead a normal life. Is this too much to ask for?? No one is saying he won’t grow up to be a perfectly developing child since there are no red flags, but the fear of the future is very daunting. I just really look forward to the day where this is all behind us and I hear the words…”He is caught up!!” Those words will be music to my ears. I have faith I will hear these words eventually because Kyle is such a strong, smart toddler and he has proven he can make it through whatever comes his way. If anything his rough start has taught him to be tough and he can overcome obstacles. Despite any delays or issues he is still my son and nothing can change that. He is such an adorable, easy going little guy and is making big leaps forward…even if they may take him a little more time.

I do want to keep this blog "cheery and happy", but from time to time there are various subjects I just want to get off my chest. Thanks for "listening"!